*burp...bang!!*

Poor Dick Cheney. All them nasty meeja types are givin' him a hard time about maybe havin' a coupla beers and then just happenin' to shoot his buddy in the face (and, um, heart...) with a hundred pellets.

They don't understand nothin'. How's a man meant to aim without havin' a cold beer to steady his hand? What did they want him to do, miss?!