Sunday, October 01, 2006

Barry Egan, Journalist of the Year


1. From today's Sindo, a primer in thoughtful, balanced, consistent prose:

IT'S official. Marian Keyes couldn't leave the house if they did away with hair dyes. "I would kill myself," she insists. (Mercifully, Marian was unsuccessful in a real suicide attempt in 1994.)


2. Conversation Chez Empire State View upon the reading-out-loud of the above paragraph earlier today:
ESV: "...in a real suicide attempt in 1994."
A: "Jesus Christ!"
(cue two minutes of hysterical laughter and one terrified kitten)
ESV: I'm going to put that on my blog.
A: Do.
(ESV types and mutters)
ESV: But I need a picture to go along with it, and all I get when I type in "Barry Egan" is Adam Sandler's character from Punch Drunk Love. I need a greasy, ginger "celebrity"...
A: Use Mick Hutchence.
ESV: Who?
A: Mick Hutchence.
ESV: Whose "real suicide attempt in 1994"* was successful?
A: Oh yeah.
ESV: Hucknall.
A: That's the one.
Max the Kitten: Where did you hide that roast chicken, youse bastards?

*yeah, yeah, 1997, whatever.

20 comments:

Auds said...

delightful, as always.

Miglior acque said...

Will somebody just think of the kitten, please! What about the kitten!

BarryEgan said...

Well its absolutely brill to see that at least some people appreciate my genius. Hey, wait a minute...!

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