Friday, May 12, 2006

Popbitch at 300

Popbitch, the gossip/satire newsletter, has published its 300th issue this week. It’s always of pretty mixed quality –after a certain point, every Lib Dem brothel scene reads the same way. But there have been some painfully funny moments over the past few years. The current newsletter is a compilation of readers’ favourites, including the gems below...

Btw: the Irish singer is just in there because I want to know who he is!! Any ideas? Don't know if, by 'old', they mean Sonny Knowles-old or Chris de Burgh-old. Unfortunately, it's definitely a man, which rules Margo and Philomena Begley out straightaway. Pity.


An Australian man was driving down the freeway when he noticed the woman in the car beside him waving. When they pulled up at the lights he wound down the window. "I've just bought the new Coldplay album",she said. "Do you want it? It's crap!" The man said yes, and she chucked the CD through the open car window. At that point he realised it was Muriel's Wedding star Toni Collette.


Which popstar, egged on by Stella McCartney, "accidentally" stubbed her cigarette out on Heather Mills' wooden foot at her and Macca's wedding?


On a fashion shoot in a derelict house, Kate Moss wanted to take a pee.
Assistant: "Well, there is a loo, but there's no door on it".
Kate: "Well how the fuck do I get in there then?"


Which old Irish singer spends evenings on tour with "the United Nations"? This is his code to the tour manager for three prostitutes: one white, one black, one Asian.


and finally...my personal favourite...
Britain's papers have been full of the sad tale of a mother who murdered her Down's Syndrome son, after caring for him full-time for 36 years. So what was the final straw for the exasperated mother?

"Patrick had spent the entire day listening to the same Elton John CD, shouting the word 'Elton' repeatedly."

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